"As Endless as the Ocean ...", Oil on Canvas, 120cm x 50cm x 4cm.
Do you ever feel like you are just going through the motions? Just getting through each day just because you have to? You shut yourself off, fill your time, do your bit, entertain yourself from time to time and distract yourself to keep from thinking too hard, too much? More and more I find myself in that exact state of mind. There is a hollow part of me ... a peice missing and a consequent profound sadness that results from being incomplete. If I was not a Christian, not saved, then that space would consume me and swallow me whole. As it is, faith keeps me going.
I paint. Not because it helps fill the void, but because it helps express it. It is a way of sharing how I feel ... the depth of my emotion; of saying what I am not able to, not permitted to say. Some people see it, and most tactfully avoid asking the obvious questions. Some ask and I tactfully have to answer without giving the real answer or avoid answering altogether. So I keep on keeping on, and I paint, and I will paint despite everything that stands in the way of it. ... and I will not stop!