Where am I going with this? Sometimes painting can be like that for me.
When I started my series of zebras it was like that ... certain emotions and happenings compelled me to paint, and zebras were the hook that allowed me to do it. There are still days where I literally itch to paint zebras. :)
I think I may have found another hook. I made a decision (commitment?) to try and paint something representing what happens in my heart and head in a ... shall we say "less dark" way (which I mentioned to you). I have been struggling to find the hook though. What subject? What is it that I can paint that can satisfactorily represent everything that I am; the love I feel; the passion; the need; the emotional turmoil; confusion; the bitterness; the desolation; the wonder; the rage; the emptiness; the hunger; the consistency and the coldness? It's a tall order! What on earth has all those elements. People? Certainly. But in painting people I battle to express the positive ... it's less interesting. What then? I have been floundering for months, waiting for my muse to do her magic.
On Friday the hook dug deep. I suddenly realised that there was one thing that had every one of the characteristics that I was looking for, and in fact is so very often described in exactly these terms. The sea!
I cannot begin to tell you how fired up I am right now about painting the sea. I'm amazed. I HATE landscapes ... they are dead and devoid of expression in my eyes. Seascapes have never crossed my mind. Who would have thought. And yet it seems so logical. I have a natural affinity to water and I love the sea. I understand it and love it and fear it. It is so representative of everything that I feel!
So right now all I want to paint is water. I want to get good at it ... really good at it.
I have started. I have a long way to go.
Watch this space.