Okay, so we all know that I stumble along blindly with my art and writing and any other crazy notions that pop into my brain, and that as okay as the stuff I do might be from a quality perspective (and trust me, I am never under the delusion that what I produce is anything more than 'okay'), it takes serious commitment if one wants to be any good at anything. Well it struck me again that I have not painted and not written anything for the longest time. And I do want to be good! I want to be more than good, I want to be excellent! I will never be any good if I don't consistantly DO!
I could give you a long list of excuses and say that it is because I haven't had time (the day job has been keeping very very busy), that I have been sleeping okay and so have less time to do these things (I have been sleeping pretty much 6hrs a night for a good month or so), that I have been forcing myself to take a break (now that would be a lie!). I could say all these things, but the reality is that as much as I have felt I need to, I just haven't had the energy. I walk through to my studio pick up a brush and am overwhelmed with apathy. It's a new feeling for me. I wonder ... people that drift through their lives and never chase their dreams ... is this what they feel all the time? I hate being apathetic! It's a complete waste!
And then, I look around and see the remarkable things some people are doing every day, and it shouts to me "FIGHT for your dreams"! Well done those of you who are ... I'm proud of you!
As of tonight I'm forcing creativity and productivity! Can it be forced? I think so! And kicking it off ... application for the Nashua Art in the Park completed and submitted. Feels better already!