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Saturday, May 1, 2010

A world of your own ....

I wonder if you were like me?
I used to, as a child, actually believe that there really was another world out there, just for me. Narnia, Middle Earth, Wonderland ... I would read of all these places and KNOW that 'it' was there, this world ... somewhere. If I just held my breath long enough, spent enough time in the forest looking for it, dived deep enough in the sea and held my breath long enough, spent long enough in the dark of my garden at night ... somehow I would find the chink; that tear in the fabric of this world that would allow me to slip into the place I belong, this fantastic place where I wouldn't be forced to be something I am not. Where being different was expected, and not an automatic ticket to the rejection box. Where a person could be loved for being themself, not what someone else wants them to be.
Am I describing heaven? Is that why we feel we are strangers in a strange land? We are longing for heaven? I spent a lot of time searching out dark places and holding my breath underwater as a child.
I wonder how many artists use their art to create that other world for themselves, a place they can get sucked into and hide out in. Slowly but surely I can feel myself slip into that place more and more ... each hurt, rejection, loss makes it more and more appealing, that escape, that place where I can just ... be, where my hearts desires are attainable, where I can fight and exorcise my demons, the confusion dissolves into something manageable; line texture and colour. There is something very, very appealing in being somewhere where you just don't need anyone else.
Famous last words. I can live with being alone, but being lonely swallows me whole.
  "Intuition of a Soul", 55cm x 40cm, Oil on Canvas

 Carl is:

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

the detail is incredible. you captured the title really well

Anonymous said...

the detail is incredible. you captured the title really well

Carl said...

Thank you. :) I'm really glad you like.

P said...

You are really good at eyes!